My Boobs Have Failed Me


Two days ago, with three kids in hand, I stood in the aisle of Target that I have been avoiding for 9 months. How could an aisle in Target feel so dreadful when I think every other aisle is so euphotic?

I found myself in the formula aisle. The time has come where my boobs have failed and I am needed to supplement with formula for Olive’s feedings.

These past nine months have left me with saggy boobs that can drench a nightgown with just the sound of Olive rustling in her crib. My worn in nipples are like Bonnie and Clyde, always off on their own adventure and breaking the law. So why couldn’t these tired old ladies just hold out for three more months, I just don’t get it.

Now, please don’t hate me when I make formula sound so dreadful, obviously, I believe fed is best and all that banter. But breastfeeding gave me a super mom high. I have never been able to breastfeed an infant for so long.

With my two little guys, I was only able to breastfeed for about four months, so nine months was a huge deal. My original goal with Olive was to pump for six months. Once six months flew by pumping just became so second nature and kind of easy.

Was it too easy? Can you become overly confident in pumping?

I honestly can’t tell you what I did wrong the past month or why my supply is starting to dwindle. I’m sure there is a lot more water that I could have been drinking. I probably shouldn’t have stopped eating my oatmeal too but ya know what, it is what it is.

Deep down I’m not as calm about the formula as I sounded above. I was almost in tears trying to figure out the best organic formula. I’m not exactly sure why I am so set on organic formula by the way. I gave the boys Target brand formula and they have turned out okay. With Olive, I occasionally have this somber feeling come over me, she is last baby I will have, so I am determined to do everything as close to perfect as I can. Crazy, I know.


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