Hello, Is It Me You’re Looking For:: The Dating Pool For Mom Friends
Yesterday, I took my kids to the park and within five minutes Ryder and Jett had made new friends. Soon they were holding hands, playing tag, oh and throwing up on the tire swing (we don’t have to get into that today).
I was in awe that my kids had made lifelong friends in a matter of minutes. We have been in Nashville for nine months and I am still in the dating phase of my friendships. To be honest my friend count is relatively low here in our new city. How do kids make it look so easy?
When I think about my kids and their checklist for friendships I assume it must be relatively short. They simply don’t overthink it. They don’t wonder how much money is in their piggy banks, it doesn’t matter if they like LipSense or not, eating only organic isn’t a deal breaker, and age doesn’t seem matter that much either.
Ryder, my oldest, recently informed me on what qualities he looks for in a friend. Here they are:
- They can fit under the slide at school with him
- He likes a loyal friend who will always play with him
- His friends must enjoy eating
- Can participate in a leisurely race
- Doesn’t mind a good ole tickle fight
Seems pretty simple right!
The Dating Pool For Mom Friends
Finding the right dating pool and putting myself out there was the first step in finding friends. We have been actively going to church, my husband and I attempted to join a community group, and I joined a moms group. Aren’t these the best mom dating pools out there? So BRING ON THE FRIENDS, where are you? The next step has to be putting out a personal ad on Craigslist, right?
Maybe it’s my pickup lines. I do feel like a pickup line can make or break a relationship. My typical line is, “Are you new to town?” It’s a solid pickup since a billion people are moving to Nashville every day. Other common lines are to compliment a mom on her outfit or how cute her child is. I think a mom compliment is compared to being whistled at while walking past a construction site. Ever happen to you? Yeah, me neither.
First dates with kids are hard. Especially if your little people are acting up, that leads to stress and embarrassment. My go-to first date locations tend to be Chick-fil-A, the science museum, the park, or my home for coffee (when we become better friends the coffee turns into wine). The first play date is so important. You discover if your kids get along and if this friendship is truly a possibility.
From here, you have either moved on to the casual texting stage of your relationship or you have discovered the friendship is a no go. The no go friendship will probably take an awkward turn. This relationship will now consist of awkward silences and attempts to avoid each other at school pickup. Breakups are hard, and it really does mean she’s just not that into you.
Now, if the friendship does take off, here’s the hard part. You have to put forth effort. Friendships take nurturing and work. You aren’t just going to get to know each other via texting once a week. You have to get out of your comfort zone. Your hubby will also have to get in on the dating. When you double date and your man comes away with a new bromance, it’s a match made in heaven.
Don’t give up, momma. Your perfect friendship is out there. Try your best not to get complacent and keep moving forward.